Sunday, November 30, 2008

Not so silent after all.

I seem to be finding comfort in my silence. My mind is crowded. My thoughts are everywhere. The weight of it all is starting to bother me.

Yet, even as my flesh fails in its own strength I see a flicker of light. But even as it wavers, the challenge is to believe, holding on to the hope I have in Him and not to falter. Not now.

In the quiet, I find myself loud but unclear. It does not matter. It’s His still small voice I want to hear loud and clear and that is all that matters.

One day goes by, then another and another. If only life was a song we could play, pause, rewind and forward at our own discretion. But if that was so, life would be a complete mess simply because we are not God, we cannot be God and more importantly we need God.

Life is interesting, don’t you think? It’s a journey.

Roads are not as straightforward as we want them to be. We are bound to arrive at a crossroad from time to time, go uphills and down hills, through tunnels, quiet small roads and busy main roads. We take a few turns along the way, sometimes we lose our way, wander around for a bit to finally get back on the right track.

And sometimes we are forced in the direction we ought to have found for ourselves.

Sometimes, we reach a dead end but it does not deter us from reversing and trying another route. There are instances we have such a bad sense of direction we become unsure of the turnings we should make and can’t help but wonder if we’re going the right way.

There are times; we go places that are so unfamiliar, so foreign. While there is the fear of getting lost along the way, we tend to take it slower being afraid of missing the junction yet it is inevitable.Funny how sometimes we are too proud to stop and ask for directions. Wouldn't that save us a lot of unnecessary trouble? We always want the shortcuts but sometimes the shortcuts end up taking longer than expected.

No we are not always on the highway because some places have not. Yet there are those times we go through rough roads - roads with uneven surfaces and big holes. Occasionally there are the speed humps to slow us down.

When there is a downpour, we struggle to see our way with big mean raindrops covering the windshield impairing our vision of the road ahead. Even the wiper at its top speed can do so much when the weather is so bad. The road then is slippery and there is the possibility to skid in the curve when we go fast and lose our control.

What about those times the traffic light starts to turn yellow and instead of pressing on our brakes we hit on the accelerator or the times the light turns red and in our urgency we dash through. Most times we make it alright but when we aren’t so lucky, we collide.

Who says we never have a problem with green? We see green and take it for granted by cruising in our own sweet time until the light turns yellow only to realise certain urgency - we then try and make it across as quickly. Or times when the light turns green after a wait yet we fail to realise until we are awoken by loud honks.

Along the way, we are bound to have a flat tyre, over heated engines, oil dry, low battery and petrol tanks reaching ‘E’. Such distress but we become more careful and organised after. As the journey is long, no doubt we become fatigued as we go. Hence, it is important to know when we need to stop to rest and refresh or we would be in risk of accidents.

This is life. It is our attitude that makes the difference. Maintaining a proper frame of mind and positive energy is never easy. Sometimes, in spite of our best efforts, life just seems intent on bringing us down. Inspiration, however, is rarely far away - if we are but willing to look for it.

It is His grace that carries me through it all.